I have been noticing a troubling thought and attitude going on in the main stream church …
It is the idea or unspoken attitude that God accepts our sin…It is evident in how they don’t talk about sin publicly, or repenting or rebuking anyone or casting out the devil for that matter… But they are trying to keep it quiet or not bring attention to it. I am sure the thought is: “Don’t rock the boat”.
Jesus died so you can repent and be forgiven by God and that sin will no more have dominion over you and to free you from being a slave to it. But then you are supposed to have a desire to walk in righteousness. This is in the expectation that the sinner will want to be free from sin. It means He took away sin’s power over you to enslave you. But it only works if you are willing to give it up and really want to walk away from it all. Only then can you truly be free in Him…His grace will help you as you do what He says.
1 John 3:7 “Little children, let no one deceive you. He who practices righteousness is righteous, just as He is righteous.”
I know because I was in a bad place at one time: I was deeply in sin. Sins of Adultery, sexual sins, horrible stuff too disgusting to mention. I allowed sin to consume me so much that I was a slave to it. It caused my marriage and family to be pulled apart and eventually divorced with my children not wanting to talk to or see me anymore…It is all too real for me. But it was what I reaped from my sin…
I didn’t want to destroy my marriage, but sin consumed me and drove me away.
Romans 7:15 “For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.”
James 1:14 “But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed.”
Well I was drawn away…It took me far away from where God wanted me to be. But God like in the prodigal son parable he gave had been watching for me in hope while always praying for me to come back…I went out as a child of disobedience and played a whore with the world and spent my heritage of God’s blessings and calling of ministry for all my lusts and perversions and did shameful acts I don’t want to mention. The Holy Spirit left me and a lying spirit took over. I cried many times in the shower or in bed while falling asleep I would sob not knowing why or what I was crying about. All I would say is, “Forgive me Father”. So there is His law written on our hearts, so I knew it was wrong..
I needed to be saved, I was lost…My life was empty…I got caught up deeper in my perversions .So I started fantasizing to be a woman and went so far with it to want to get surgery to make it complete. I started stealing hormones from a girlfriend I was sexually attached to while I was going through a divorce…My body started growing breasts and skin softened and hair stopped growing on body. I eventually left my girlfriend just like my ex wife because she didn’t accept my changes. Eventually I got support to stay in my sin through the Trans Community and hooked up to the liberal health care system and after seeing a doctor started taking more hormones. I continued to change. During this time my kids didn’t want to see me anymore. I met a man online who was a male to female transgender also and we decided to live together, although he stopped his taking of hormones and stayed in his born gender. We are room mates only now. I went to a LGBTQ church as it was one of the only churches I could attend that would accept me.
I went there and they accepted who I had become. But it was not what God wanted. I wondered how they could call themselves Christians and say God was ok with all our sin and perversions.But it took almost 10 years for me to finally wake up and hear God granting me godly sorrow to repentance and finally turn back to Him. During this time though I had joined the worship team there and I began writing songs. Hundreds of them. We sang them in church all the time…All these songs I believe God used to call me back. In retrospect my soul was crying out to God to fill me, heal me, draw me back, forgive me…Etc…Like David did when he killed Bathsheba’s husband Uriah. I wrote songs asking God to draw me back. It felt like God was always there, tapping me on the shoulder. Loving me, because I had a hunger for Him, a love for Him that is real…No more sin getting in the way, pulling me aside, I was no longer a slave to sin, but I wanted righteousness. I started ministering to people in this church and showing a real passion that they didn’t understand. They looked at me like a deer in the head lights. Shocked and dumbfounded
To make this story shortened, I did repent and turned around. Now I am in a place where I made such a mess of my life that I need to correct some things. I stopped all hormones, I stopped all references to female and got my license changed back. I talked to my doctor about it and he was elated at my decision. I testified in the church I attended and opened some eyes…Some have accepted but most do not…
I am now a Christian and returned back to my God. I changed all my Facebook accounts and deleted many friends who were of the Trans community. I see it for what it is now. It is NOT a mental disorder. It is a spiritual disorder and not God’s will. I have a message for those who are in it…I was that Prodigal son and woke up and came to my senses, and more than anything know what sin can do to you. It only enslaves you and wants to destroy your life. God never intended our lives to be enslaved. That is why He sent His Son.
When I think of someone in sin who wants freedom. I think first of all, do they REALLY want to give up the sin? Or is it that they don’t want the destruction that their sin brings?..Well you can’t play with fire and not be burned. You really must decide once and for all to walk away from it and cut all ties with it too. Mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually…You have to show God you are serious. Don’t lie to him, He knows what you are thinking and hiding and how deceived you are. Sin will deceive you and draw you away from God. It will make you think YOU can do anything without Him. It will tell you, you can make your own choices. It will tell you, “you are the king on the throne of your life”. While God patiently waits in the back seat. Calling out for you to come home…Hopefully you are listening and come to your senses like the Prodigal son did.. It doesn’t always end so great for some though. Death spiritually and physically often are the result…Then it becomes impossible to come back. Sometimes they die in their sin and go to hell.
So when I hear of someone in sin wanting freedom. Jesus gave us all power over sin. Through His blood and sacrifice He took away our sins and it’s effect toward us. When we repent of our sins and submit to God and give our lives to Him we are no longer slaves to sin but servants to righteousness. Christ in us, the hope of glory. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Ask Him to help you and be serious, don’t play games with temptation and sin, you will lose unless you ask Christ for help and mean it by turning to Him. Then He takes away the sin and it’s power of temptation. When it attacks you and you call out in His name and command it to leave using the word, it will leave! You will feel it leave as it lets go of it’s tentacles from you and freedom and joy once again returns. Turn back to Him…Praise God..
If you would like to ask for help, you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org